The Anti Cool Girl by Rosie Waterland: Book Review

Brutal, brave, hilarious - a full-frontal memoir about surviving the very worst that life can throw at you.

Rosie Waterland has never been cool. Growing up in housing commission, Rosie was cursed with a near perfect, beautiful older sister who dressed like Mariah Carey on a Best & Less budget while Rosie was still struggling with various toilet mishaps. She soon realised that she was the Doug Pitt to her sister's Brad, and that cool was not going to be her currency in this life.

But that was only one of the problems Rosie faced. With two addicts for parents, she grew up amidst rehab stays, AA meetings, overdoses, narrow escapes from drug dealers and a merry-go-round of dodgy boyfriends in her mother's life. Rosie watched as her dad passed out/was arrested/vomited, and had to talk her mum out of killing herself.

As an adult, trying to come to grips with her less than conventional childhood, Rosie navigated her way through eating disorders, nude acting roles, mental health issues and awkward Tinder dates. Then she had an epiphany: to stop pretending to be who she wasn't and embrace her true self - a girl who loved drinking wine in her underpants on Sunday nights - and become an Anti-Cool Girl.

SPOILER FREE REVIEW

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Well holy moly, I might have just found the woman who has completely inspired me to write my own memoir. I tell you now people, that this book is not for the faint hearted or the easily offended. Rosie Waterland is an exceptional writer and portrays her long struggle with life growing up with a poor family living through state housing and eventually being thrown into the fostering system before barely turning ten, along with a lot more heart breaking and relatable (if you have gone through a similar bringing up) moments which will stick with you long after you close the book for the last time. This is the first memoir that I've read which I can highly relate to and one which actually made me laugh out loud, making my partner think I was on drugs or that I was messed up when I showed him the part about when Rosie was a kid, masturbating while watching (or not watching) Rugrats. Yeah that got me at first too, but later on as I became more and more acquainted with Rosie's grotesque humor I decided I really did enjoy reading about all these crazy moments in her life which basically led up to her becoming an "Anti Cool Girl".

So first of, I really want to say: Rosie, if I ever get the chance to meet you in person I am literally going to give you the biggest hug. I may not have gone through the exact same circumstances but I know exactly what it's like to feel like the kid who doesn't feel loved enough, cool enough or good enough for anyone. I know what it's like to have an alcoholic mother and have multiple step-fathers. I know what it's like to feel embarrassed for doing something stupid or having nights where sometimes you don't think your parents will ever come home. Life is tough and there are sadly too many people in the world that have to suffer through their childhood due to the bad choices their parents make and sometimes it's too hard for their parents to get help or even be helped. Reading this book almost became a trigger for me. It's hard reading something that you relate to so much or at least have a major understanding of without thinking about everything you went through too and coming away from it with a tear-free face. There were multiple moments where I just had to look up and remind myself that I was here, I was okay and that nothing like this would ever  happen again. I feel for Rosie because she seemed to soldier through all the painful things in her life and even as a grown adult, she still felt the pressure of life and how society can still be a bitch, even after school. If you think that your family is a little f**ked up, then meet Rosie's family. No, it doesn't mean she's a terrible person, it just means that she has had to go through a lot of shit in her life which she didn't deserve but came out a stronger person because of it - basically giving the definition of this book.

If Rosie were to ever write a fictional novel whether it be young adult, new adult or adult fiction, I would most definitely read it. She has this crazy humor about her which has lead to her imminent success and even through such an emotional, heart-breaking memoir, is still able to shine through her not-so-glamorous moments by making fun of herself and taking a joke on all the embarrassing things that happened to her as a kid. I'm not sure I would be ready to now, but Rosie has definitely inspired me to one day write about my story and laugh through the stupid things I did as a kid and a teenager. The main thing I got out of this book was that no matter how shitty your life was as a kid, you can always redeem yourself and become a better person because of it. But also the fact that you can do well in life and succeed to the expectations you had hoped of. I was weary of this novel at first and was wondering what HarperCollins was trying to get me into, but now I am glad because now I have read a wonderful story which has been an inspiration to me and probably many others around the world. I just hope that one day Rosie gets to star in one of her awesome, personally playwritten movie, win an Oscar and give the big, dramatic speech that she always wanted!

Overall I have given this book a 5 out of 5 stars because it was such a powerful book and I think that if more and more people bought and read it, they too would be just as inspired and awe struck as I am after having delved into the brilliantly awesome life of an Anti Cool Girl such as Rosie Waterland.

Thank you HarperCollins New Zealand for the review copy! Go like their Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/Harpercollinsnz?fref=ts

Go add The Anti Cool Girl to your Goodreads list HERE

Go buy it on MightyApe with 1 day delivery in New Zealand HERE

Buy it on Book Depository with free shipping world wide HERE

Are you suffering with a mental illness such as depression or anxiety? Here are some helpful links from BetterHelp that you can check out and find tips on how to live a happier life:

BetterHelp Advice - Anxiety
BetterHelp Advice - Depression
How To Deal with Depression: Tips, Techniques And Finding the Right Treatment

How Do I Find A Therapist Near Me?

10 Depression Quotes That May Change Your Life

Find more out about my writing career at:

http://ellafleming-christie.weebly.com

My YouTube Channel: FeathersandFaith

"The Inked Fae" Excerpt!: by Ella Fleming-Christie

Hey everyone! I've recently gone back to my story that I've been writing, "The Inked Fae" and edited the first chapter a bit more so that I can present it to you guys in a considerable manner. I am really proud of my story and the way I have researched almost every little detail of what I would like to present in my book so that it will be as enjoyable for you to read as it is for me to write it. I hope that you become as immersed with Faylinn, the main protagonist, as much as I have. Here is the very first chapter for you to enjoy!

The Inked Fae

By Ella Fleming-Christie

Chapter One

“I swear to god I didn’t do it!” I protested as my mother outstretched my arm exposing the ever so beautiful water tattoo that just happened to magically appear on the inside of my right forearm overnight. It was a picturesque pure white andalusian horse which appeared to be galloping and it had intricate swirls of different colours that included yellow, red, blue, green and purple circling around like a mini tornado. I just couldn’t explain myself. It had just appeared as I woke up this morning. Of course, my mom would never believe me. Yeah Mom, of course I’m not lying. A tattoo just magically appeared on my wrist the night after my sixteenth birthday party. You know I would never do such a thing. Nope. She would never believe me. Unless she believed in magic which I doubted would help in this situation. Even though she was fully qualified as a High Priestess of Wicca since she took a course with “Sacred Mists Online College” which was practically magic I guess, although none of the stuff she did made much sense anyway.

“I told you, no crazy stunts or acts of stupidness. This included.” She chastised while pointing at my arm. “Just because you’re sixteen now and able to make more decisions for yourself, that doesn’t mean you should go crazy with the call of opportunity. You are a ‘straight A’ student. Imagine what the teachers will think of your actions.” There was almost a flicker of sorrow that crossed her face which disappeared as quickly as it came. She apparently didn’t have an easy life growing up so she knew what it was like to make stupid decisions too. But the difference was that this wasn’t my decision. It definitely wasn’t there when I went to bed last night. I would have definitely noticed something so out of the ordinary.

“Mom, I swear to the Goddess, I did not do this nor did I even want it. I don’t think I would have missed something as crazy as this. I was perfectly conscious the whole night. Plus you know I’m not a drinker.”

“Ok darling. Well when you can give me a reasonable explanation on how this tattoo was placed on your arm without you even knowing, then I shall believe you.” She studied the work of art for a little bit longer before she turned to retrieve the toast that had popped out of the toaster. “So, what did you want for breakfast?”

I stared at her blankly. “I’m not that hungry.”

“I’ll cut up some fruit for you. After all, you’re a maturing teenager. You need all the food you can get,” My mom replied with a stifled grin.

It was true, I wasn’t overly big in size. In fact you could compare my body shape to a pixie. If they even existed––something which I certainly didn’t ever question about. I kind of doubted that I would ever immensely expand just because my body was meant to somehow now not able to process food as quickly as before. If anything I wanted a few curves. I wasn’t that stereotypical sexy, tan, blonde chick. I was more of a supermodel thin with the flawless pale skin stereotype. My hair was a mousy brown and my eyes were a special kind of violet. No one else I knew had the same eye colour. It was funny because I didn’t look like my mother in the slightest. She always said I looked like my father but she never had photos of him. She only had a bad sketch which some random artist had done for her by giving him details about my father’s facial details so I never really knew exactly what he looked like. Sometimes I wished that I knew where he was but even my mother was clueless of his whereabouts. According to my mom he left when I was only a baby, claiming he had to be somewhere more important. She always said that the reason for his sudden departure wasn’t as bad as it sounded. There were just things she couldn’t quite explain until I was old enough to understand. That thought struck a heartstring. Maybe I was old enough now to know what my mum had meant all those years.

“Mom…” I said hesitantly.

“Yes, darling?”

All of a sudden I found a rush of strength which enabled me to say the words and I sat up straighter in my chair, “Where’s my dad?” My mother’s body stiffened and she slowly twisted around to place my bowl of fruit salad in my hands. I really didn’t have an appetite but I knew she expected me to finish my food before I left for school. “I’m old enough to know now. I’m sixteen and practically an adult. I think you need to explain to me what really happened back then and where he is now,” I spoke without hesitation.

An instant look of shock set on her face and pursed her lips, almost like she didn’t know how to respond to my assertiveness. I was certainly never this demanding when I was younger even as a little kid, but now I felt a surge of energy flow through me; a feeling of wanting to know who I was and who my father was. “I see that you have grown into a strong confident woman and I should start to acknowledge that. But can this specific subject wait? At least until after dinner tonight? I need to think about this. It’s hard to explain but you will soon realise why.”

I couldn’t understand how hard it would be to tell me. Could it really be that bad? Did he die? Was he a marine in the army who just never came back? Or did he just leave with a stupid excuse because he didn’t care about us anymore? My mind started fooling with my emotions and I started to feel lightheaded. “Ok, that’s fine.” I tried a spoonful of the fruit my mother left in front of me to distract the tension I felt practically sizzling in the air. I felt a little better eating something although I still wasn’t hungry. It sweetened my tongue and filled my body with natural sugar fueling me with at least a little enthusiasm to want go to school. I just wanted to get it over and done with. I wanted to know now but I knew that I couldn’t persuade her to tell me any sooner. She was the light hearted kind and the thought of my dad upset her a little. My mom had never dated anyone from the time that he left. Maybe she thought he would come back one day. Or maybe she just knew he was gone for good but just never got over him. Although still massively curious, I got up from the seat in the kitchen to grab my bag and start leaving for school. “Thanks Mom,” I murmured monotonously.

“Oh, Fay?”

I quickly spun around to see if she was going to say something more about my unknown father. “Yeah?”

“Be careful now. It’s a big world out there and very easy to run into trouble. All I’m saying is re-evaluate everything you think you know and keep an open mind. I just want you to stay safe and know that I love you.”

Disappointed about the lack of information and her unwillingness to speak about the subject any sooner, I promised her exactly that. Then I walked out the front door without saying goodbye.

That night we sat silently on the couches separated from each other; one end of the couch each to ourselves. Normally I would sit right next to her and she would stroke my hair while I leant on her shoulder. But tonight was different. There were unanswered questions that I wanted solved and she was definitely taking her time. I decided to take a stand and start off the interrogation, as a policeman to a suspect.

“Ok… Mom. I know this is going to be hard for you. But right now I am asking––as your daughter––for you to just please toughen up a little and give me a straight answer.” My heart instantly started to race. I had never spoken so boldly towards my mother before but I just couldn’t take the suspense any longer.

She closed her eyes for what seemed like forever and then inhaled and exhaled deeply - almost as if she was meditating. She looked up at me with tear filled eyes and smiled. “You’re father would have been so proud of what you have become. You are exactly how he said you would turn out to be.”

I didn’t understand one bit. Was he a psychic of some sort? I was sure you couldn’t exactly determine how your children would turn out unless you were the one to parent them and he certainly wasn’t here for a massive fraction of my life.

“Faylinn, I have to tell you something that you may not believe and it very well has almost everything to do with that artwork on your arm.”

“What? This monstrosity? The thing you couldn’t believe me about this morning and you gave me hell for it?” Her hypocrisy was fueling an explosion of my emotions. It wasn’t what I needed if I wanted to get information about my dad but I was definitely finding it hard to contain. It was also the first time in years that she had called me by my full name. I stopped myself for a second and took a breath. “Wait… so you mean to say that you knew about this before it even happened? Did you arrange this or something? Like have someone drug and ink me while I was out cold?”

She sighed heavily, “No, I had nothing to do with it. I’m not like you. Well I am, I’m just not the same right now.” I almost took offence until all of a serious expression took over her face, “You have history which makes you different from everyone else. Well mostly. There are other fae kids such as yourself, although you’re somewhat of a different case. We were talking about it last night.”

“What are you talking about, Mom? You’re seriously freaking me out now. . . We?” I looked at her with wide eyes. What was she trying to tell me?

“An old friend came to see me last night while you were out. Someone very important; he knew your dad.” She sighed heavily, “You are needed somewhere else, Fay. You say that you are old enough to take on responsibility and be mature for all that it’s worth. You need to realise that everything you decide now places you between the possibility of life or death. The tattoo and the horse within the art; the weird sensations and changes you may already be starting to feel; demanding to know who, what and where your father is, there is all a reason for these sudden changes. There is also a reason we have a similar tattoo.” With a sudden movement she slid her top up and just to the right of her belly button was the most beautiful tattoo artwork of a swan with green intricate lines swirling around it almost exactly like mine.

I became too enveloped in shock to breathe. The room suddenly felt too occupied, like there was only enough oxygen to supply one person. I wasn’t too sure I’d be particularly thrilled about where she was going with this. Finally I managed to compose myself enough to squeeze out a reply, “Mom… just tell me.”

She repeated the deep meditational breathing and locked her eyes onto mine. I felt like she was a monk about to reveal my destiny to me or something. Pssh.

“Faylinn, you are a faerie.”

I really hope you enjoyed reading the excerpt! Please let me know what you thought of it; whether it sounds like it could be published or whether it needs a bunch more work! I would love to post another couple of chapters so you get to know a couple more characters of which I absolutely love and experience Faylinn use her powers unexpectedly for the first time.

If you wish to contact me about a publishing deal or something else then please contact me through my business email: B.theclairsentient@gmail.com

What was the most intriguing thing about the excerpt you just read? Let me know in the comments below!

Find more out about my writing career at:

http://ellafleming-christie.weebly.com

My YouTube Channel: FeathersandFaith