Showing posts with label new zealand. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new zealand. Show all posts

Wednesday, 15 August 2018

A Thousand Perfect Notes by C.G Drews: Book Review

An emotionally charged story of music, abuse and, ultimately, hope.


Beck hates his life. He hates his violent mother. He hates his home. Most of all, he hates the piano that his mother forces him to play hour after hour, day after day. He will never play as she did before illness ended her career and left her bitter and broken. But Beck is too scared to stand up to his mother, and tell her his true passion, which is composing his own music - because the least suggestion of rebellion on his part ends in violence.


When Beck meets August, a girl full of life, energy and laughter, love begins to awaken within him and he glimpses a way to escape his painful existence. But dare he reach for it?

SPOILER FREE REVIEW
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You know how contemporary novels are usually best read in Summer, or so I've come to discover? Well, this novel was probably the first I've read around Winter time that really broke free from that typical habit - the mood, the setting, and the overall feel of sad music humming beautifully in the back of your head as you imagine the soundtrack to Beck's life (that is exactly what I did BTW and the playlist will be at the bottom of this review). As sad as I am to say, this did touch on family abuse, physical and emotional - two subject of which are touchy for me personally but C.G Drews (A.K.A Paper Fury) was able to initiate it in a way that didn't have to use violence to fight back. I feel like it's hard to really say whether this book could prove a point for those suffering through similar circumstances, because then others would say that it is wrong to use books or fictional characters' lives as examples of what we must do ourselves. However, personally I do feel like Beck's ability to avoid physical conflict in the best way that he could was truly amendable and I really felt that it was exactly what the book needed to stand out against all others where only violence solves issues.

“He floods the house with music that shook the world a hundred years ago. His fingers knot over complicated patterns and his thumbs fail when he needs them most. But, the Maestro's wrath aside, he owes it to the music to find perfection.”

Beck's life is somewhat unrealistic to a lot of people - I can believe it, however, as my own life could seem pretty unrealistic to others who don't think emotional or physical abuse could really something that some parents are capable of. It's true, and very very damaging to children who grow up to be adults trying to navigate the world in their own ways, constantly being judged by others who don't understand their lingering pain. His sister, Joey, is stuck in the middle of him, his piano, and their mother who is hell bent on making Beck a prodigy, better that she ever was. August is the free-spirited girl who sees passion and love under the shield that Beck keeps up to try keep her away as having friends is just a "distraction" to his career. She slowly breaks through his walls and tempts him with strange cake and catchy alternative music that he's never had a chance to hear because of the years he's been subjected to listening to and practicing purely classical music.





Because this was such a quick read, I don't want to say too much about the storyline or the characters because there aren't too many of those either, but I'd like to state that this book resonated a lot with me personally. Being able to connect with Beck in an emotional way that transcends the barriers of a normal life reminds me of how moving fictional stories can be when they're meant to shake the core of your being. This story shows the passion of a talented soul who is controlled to become something that he is not instead of creating something new and beautiful. It is a sacrifice to safe others from stepping into harms way. It's showing that beauty and love exists in the strangest of places, and that there isn't always a selfish reason to care. If I'm going to ask anyone to read this, it's because I think it brings up important messages that people need to hear, and also because this is a reality for many kids around the world and it's time that they had their story told.

“The world is a broken mirror, each shard reflecting his terrified face.”

I have given this book a 4.75 out of 5 stars for evoking such emotions that will scar me for life but also remind me what it means to be passionate and fight for what is right. I've read books that have changed my life and made me feel all the feelings I could have felt, but never have I read a book like this that has made me feel truly moved, that has made me want to do something about fighting for people like this who need help. To raise awareness for people who suffer through depression or muteness or domestic violence, or damaging anger. A truly astounding debut from C.G. Drews (PaperFury) and I cannot wait to see what she will bring out next - I'm aching for the next instalment and her brand new project! Bring them on 2019!







Thank you Hachette NZ for the review copy

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Official Website: hachette.co.nz


Go add A Thousand Perfect Notes to your Goodreads list HERE

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Find it on the Hachette NZ website HERE


Tuesday, 15 May 2018

Catch Me When You Fall by Eileen Merriman: Book Review


Discovering happiness amid uncertainty and finding a love that transcends the boundary between life and death.

Seventeen year old Alex Byrd is about to have the worst day of her life, and the best. A routine blood test that will reveal her leukaemia has returned, but she also meets Jamie Orange.

Both teenagers have big dreams, but also big obstacles to overcome.

SPOILER FREE REVIEW
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I have never been as moved by a novel as I have with this teenage romance caught between the struggles of reality. Catch Me When You Fall follows the story of a sixteen-year-old girl called Alex Byrd who lives in Christchurch with her parents and younger sister. After a brief doctors appointment where she bonds over a mutually loved book with a boy of her age, Jamie Orange, she soon finds out that her leukaemia has returned and she may not survive this time around. Throughout the course of the novel, Alex finds solace in her newfound love and passion for the arts with Jamie and comes to realise that Jamie has many issues of his own, despite him appearing angelic in appearance with a personality that continues to sway her deeply as a typical first love does.

Some people believe in love at first sight, and some don't.
I believe in love in four days.
I believe in falling.


The title Catch Me When You Fall seems to imply the act of falling in love and expecting another to return the feeling in full. I definitely felt that this novel lived up to the expectation that came with this statement; its storyline has captured teenage love with absolute precision and also managed to convey the same message with the idea of succumbing to the sicknesses they suffer from.

Since I have not personally suffered with a sickness as dire as cancer, reading about a girl who has gone through it not once but three times, has been an experience that I will never forget. Both Alex and Jamie kick off their bonding session over a book called 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami. This love for books grows into a connection over music they relate to which seems to give the book more life and beauty as the reader can search up the song and listen to it during the scene that is playing out. I found myself rooting for Alex to survive, despite the terrifying odds, and relating more-or-less to Jamie with his bipolar disorder, as it is one of the two major categories of manic depression.

A photo I posted to my Instagram account. Click on the photo to see more


Merriman has done an extraordinary job of creating a realistic world of love and suffering, where two teenagers connect and clash over trivial matters which overall brings them closer together over the course of the novel. Basing their story in Christchurch, New Zealand helped me related to Alex as a young teenager going through her first relationship and learning to juggle her personal life with someone else who is going through a different kind of sickness. In Alex’s mind it is harder for her to understand why Jamie claims to struggle so much with his mental illness when she feels she is closer to the brink of possible death.

I said, 'I wish this moment could be forever.''We are forever.' Jamie raised his head, and kissed me on the lips. 'Neither alive nor dead.'

Merriman has created a perfectly realistic and relatable story that many New Zealand teenagers, and possibly others overseas, can feel emotionally moved by Alex and Jamie’s relationship going through the ringer and back. Much of the factual content had been researched by the author’s connections and written with some of her own knowledge as a nurse. Her writing is beautifully simplistic along with the use of the Norwegian language through Jamie’s family, which adds diversity that Eileen has been known for from her debut novel, Pieces of You.


A photo I posted to my Instagram account. Click on the photo to see more


I would recommend this to anyone above the age of thirteen that has experienced the trials of a first love, and anyone who is just looking to find something that can re-invent it perfectly in a 300-page novel. It has been one of the most eye-opening stories I’ve come across throughout my time as an avid reader and I am positive that this will open the doorway for many more writers who feel like they have powerful stories of their own to tell. I've given this novel a 4.5 stars out of 5!


What are some of your favourite novels that deal with life-threatening illnesses or mental health issues? Are there any other New Zealand based novels that you can recommend? Let me know in the comments below!



Check out my Spotify playlist for

Catch Me When You Fall

* A few of these songs are actually mentioned in the book, others I have curated for the playlist on my own accord. I hope you enjoy it!




Thank you Penguin Random House NZ for the review copy!
Like and follow their links here:

Official Website: http://penguin.co.nz/



Go add Catch Me When You Fall to your Goodreads list HERE


Go buy it on MightyApe with 1 day delivery in New Zealand HERE

Buy it on Book Depository with free shipping world wide HERE

Find it on the Penguin Random House NZ website HERE

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Friday, 2 February 2018

The Thunderbolt Pony by Stacy Gregg: Book Review


A dramatic and emotional story about one girl’s determination to stand by her beloved animals – and her refusal to give up, even in the face of impossible odds.

When a devastating earthquake hits Evie’s hometown of Parnassus on New Zealand’s South Island, she and the rest of the town are forced to evacuate. Evie’s injured mum is one of the first to be rescued by helicopter and Evie will be next. But when realises that she will be forced to leave her beloved pony, Gus, her dog, Jock, and her cat Moxy behind, she is determined to find another way. Before the rescue helicopter returns, Evie flees with Gus, Jock and Moxy in a race against time across difficult terrain to reach the port of Kaikoura, where she has heard that people will be evacuated by ship in three days’ time. Surely there will be space for her, Gus, Jock and Moxy there?


But the journey is harder than Evie could ever have imagined, and with aftershocks constantly shaking, Evie will have to draw on all her bravery, strength, and resilience to bring her and her animals to safety . . . and hope that they reach the boat in time.

SPOILER FREE REVIEW
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*Trigger warning for OCD*


As always I am overwhelmed with love and happiness after reading a Stacy Gregg novel. Not only did this book succeed in retelling such a devastating tragedy that befell the residents of Kaikoura, but it follows a twelve-year-old girl called Evie who takes a courageous and heart-warming journey with her dapple-grey pony, Gus, her dog, Jock, and her cat, Moxy. As well as choosing to traverse across the cracked terrain that the earthquake has created, Evie has to make some tough decisions when it comes to managing her OCD and none of it will be easy - mentally or physically.





For someone who never really knew too much about OCD, it has come as quite a shock to learn that I have more than a few of the same habits as Evie and actually have struggled with times where I broke down in a sobbing mess because I couldn't handle how dirty and untidy the house was. I always do things in twos or fours, but mostly eights because it's double four so it's more even. I had a habit as a child where I couldn't stop looking at the ground and making even steps on the pavement or I would take a million years to order my things in certain ways. These days I'd like to say that I don't suffer as much as I used to but I've found that things like ordering things when I'm stressed, wiping down the bench a million times for silly reasons or no reasons at all, or literally having a panic attack because the floor was so dirty at one point and we had no vacuum cleaner or broom to fix it. Basically what I'm saying is that if I hadn't of read this book, I wouldn't have realised that some of those things that I suffer with aren't exactly normal because my brain likes to make up stupid reasons to justify my repetitive or unusual behaviour. I'm not trying to say that I'm giving myself any reason to have OCD, I know it might look that way, but I'm grateful because now I understand why I'm so strange sometimes but I also know that it can be helped and changed. All I'm ever trying to do in life is improve my knowledge of things and improve myself as a person so this has really been somewhat of a great learning experience.

This middle-grade novel has it's light-hearted and encouraging moments where friendship between a girl and her pony or other pets mean absolutely everything, to the point where she will travel across dangerous terrain just to make sure that she can take her horse to safety aboard the HMS Canterbury. The reality of the Kaikoura earthquake is much fiercer and intimidating than what many might have thought if they had not have suffered through it. This was the case for me, being an Aucklander who was born in Christchurch but never had to suffer through a quake in my life because I moved by the age of one to the North Island. It is truly eye opening to read such a heart breaking tale where lives were actually lost and many people injured, animals left behind and houses destroyed. These tragedies are a common case with cities that sit on the fault line down the country but a lot of us in Auckland might shrug it off after a while because the news has stopped updating about it, yet families from the Christchurch quake are still without homes and money to this day. It makes me want to do something for both cities when I can finally earn some money that I can give.

'The Thunderbolt Pony' along with Stacy Gregg's last two novels, 'The Diamond Horse' and 'The Girl Who Rode The Wind'.


I recommend this novel to anyone who loves cute pony genre stories with a touch of reality that can open your eyes and teach you something new. I will say that this book needs a trigger warning for those who have OCD because I found myself becoming more aware of my habits and harder to kick them, but I'm monitoring it better now and letting my family know what I struggle with so that I'm not easily set off or I don't make the wrong impression. Other than that, I've given 'The Thunderbolt Pony' a 5 out of 5 star rating because it truly was one moving tale. This would also be perfect for parents to get for their children so they can learn more about the earthquakes in the South Island and have a lovely story to enjoy where pets are more than friends, they're also family.


Click the photo to check out my Instagram!





Thank you HarperCollins New Zealand for the review copy of The Thunderbolt Pony! Go check out their links here:



Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Harpercollinsnz

Website: http://www.harpercollins.co.nz/



Add The Thunderbolt Pony to your Goodreads list HERE


Buy it on MightyApe with 1 day delivery in New Zealand HERE

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Find it on the HarperCollins NZ website HERE




I published my very first short story, "Crimson Exchange"!

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Wednesday, 4 October 2017

A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares by Krystal Sutherland: Book Review



Ever since Esther Solar's grandfather was cursed by Death, everyone in her family has been doomed to suffer one great fear in their lifetime. Esther's father is agoraphobic and hasn't left the basement in six years, her twin brother can t be in the dark without a light on, and her mother is terrified of bad luck.



The Solars are consumed by their fears and, according to the legend of the curse, destined to die from them. 

Esther doesn't know what her great fear is yet (nor does she want to), a feat achieved by avoiding pretty much everything. Elevators, small spaces, and crowds are all off-limits. So are haircuts, spiders, dolls, mirrors and three dozen other phobias she keeps a record of in her semi-definitive list of worst nightmares. 

Then Esther is pickpocketed by Jonah Smallwood, an old elementary school classmate. Along with her phone, money and a fruit roll-up she d been saving, Jonah also steals her list of fears. Despite the theft, Esther and Jonah become friends, and he sets a challenge for them: in an effort to break the curse that has crippled her family, they will meet every Sunday of senior year to work their way through the list, facing one terrifying fear at a time, including one that Esther hadn't counted on: love.

SPOILER FREE REVIEW
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*Trigger warnings for anxiety, depression, and cutting*




“Anxiety felt like a grapnel anchor had been pickaxed into your back, one prong in each lung, one through the heart, one through the spine, the weight curving your posture forward, dragging you down to the murky depths of the sea floor. The good news was that you kind of got used to it after a while. Got used to the gasping, brink-of-heart-attack feeling that followed you everywhere. All you had to do was grab one of the prongs that stuck out from the bottom of your sternum, give it a little shake, and say, “Listen, asshole. We’re not dying. We have shit to do.”


It feels like a century since I had last found something which really resonated with all the internal struggles and pain that I've had to suffer throughout my whole life. A Semi-Definitive List Of Worst Nightmares encaptures the whole package deal that comes with the curse of anxiety and depression. I found myself relating to almost every second sentence and had originally sat down to read at least half of the novel two days before it was due for release - I feel terrible that I was not able to complete it sooner and have one heck of a review waiting for everyone to read and hear my thoughts on. However I'm glad I was able to spend the month returning every now and then to get a fix of a beautifully truthful and empowering novel. One thing that just made me instantly love this book as much as the actual content was the fact that Esther is a natural red-head with an array of freckles on her face, and Jonah basically resembles Finn from Star Wars: The Force Awakens almost exactly and I am so glad I was given that visual because that is exactly how I pictured him for the rest of the novel!

This shot that I posted to my Instagram story could not be more accurate!


Esther Solar is introduced to us vividly in the first few pages along with a few vital pieces of information:

  1. Her family is cursed with developing unhealthy phobias which prevent them from being anything but a normal human being. 
  2. She dresses in a spontaneous costume every day - on this particular day/night she is dressed as Red Riding Hood. 
  3. Her mother, Rosemary, is afraid of bad luck, her father, Peter, is an agoraphobe and has lived in the basement for six years since his sudden confinement, and her brother, Eugene, is afraid of the darkness and and anything related to it. 
  4. She is super gullible and too kind for her own good. 
  5. She protested Dumbledore's death as a child for a week before the movie came out, even though the books were written years prior to the movie release. (She is a sweet little cinnamon roll!) 
  6. We basically need to keep reading to find out why the hell Esther would somehow eventually fall in love with Jonah Smallwood - the guy who robs her of her grandmother's bracelet, iPhone, Fruit Roll-Up, library card, copy of The Godfather, her semi-definitive list of worst nightmares, AND her diginity, all within the time-frame of four minutes in a bus stop at night. (Trust me when I say that you will enjoy the hell out of these two characters together!)

If I am going to give an accurate review of this book, I'll have to point out how important the topics discussed in this novel are and why many of the creative analogies such as The Man Who Was Death, the curse on the family, and Esther's interpretation on the way love works backwards, all have deeper meanings that we might realise. I have taken photos of particular quotes that I resonated with personally and also felt like they needed a bit of recognition.







The hard truth with mental illnesses and disabilities, but it doesn't mean that everyone does. I just felt like this was a 'in the moment' quote that I could relate to a lot. People have given up on me before, but then there are people who haven't given up on me. Chad is a great example of someone who has stayed with me for four years, even though I have ADHD, anxiety/panic disorder, and an unknown joint disease that gives me pain on a daily basis and has rendered my legs useless multiple times before. I am forever grateful for him ❤

Jonah is the love interest/semi-hero that every other novel needs (and every person that needs a little push towards confidence and self love); the type of person that would take your deepest fears and throw them at you lovingly, all the while knowing very well (sorta) that you won't actually die if you face them. He is the one who gives Esther a reason to live - in saying that, she is not suicidal, she just doesn't live a very interesting life before she bands up with Jonah to face her fears every Sunday of the week until she reaches number fifty and finds out what she's really afraid of. I have to say that this book has truly inspired me to live my life no matter the fears that I face when I start to think about the real world. I honestly felt like I was living an adventure that was exhilarating and eye-opening at the same time. I was reminded that mental illness can almost feel like a curse and death can feel like a person that is just hanging around in the shadows waiting for you to say the okay, yet at the same time you can also tell them to just f**k off.

The caption on the photo is the only one that is needed.

If this book has taught me anything, it is to know that anxiety and depression will always be a tough fight, but it is possible to come out the other side eventually. There is no instant cure but it can be managed and it is important to remember that there are many other people who suffer from the same things, if not many other mental illnesses, as well. We're not alone in the world - we can choose to either let the pain subdue us or we can choose to rage a war against the darkness and make life something worth living, even if it means facing a few fears to find the light.

I've decided to present my own list of fears so that I might inspire someone else to do the same and show that we are not all invincible but we are all human (I do believe some of us are magical shapeshifting unicorns but that is besides the point).

Things that terrify me on a daily basis:


  1. Loosing someone I love.
  2. Heights.
  3. Blood and anything to do with surgery or cut open skin. (UGH!)
  4. Crossing busy roads. (I used to have panic attacks every morning walking to school)
  5.  Depression creeping back up on me when I least expect it.
  6. Panic attacks.
  7. Wasps and hornets. (I have more faith that bees aren't a****les)
  8. Not knowing what is wrong with me. (Currently going through this crisis)
  9. I might die before I get the chance to accomplish my dream of becoming a best selling author and inspire others with my stories of struggle.
  10. Living in a city surrounded by volcanoes that are due to erupt with 1.3 million people who may or may not care.
  11. The possibility that my current life is really just a very long dream and I will wake up from a coma to a life I never wanted.
  12. Loosing both my voice and my hearing. (Both are my sources of music which keep my depression at bay. See no. 5*)
  13. New Zealand is a tiny country/island that could sink just like Hawai'ki did centuries ago. (I'm a big believer of Maori legends. Don't judge me!)
  14. Donald Trump ruling the most powerful country in the world.
  15. Racism. (It terrifies me because I've seen people be killed just because they're dark skinned and I have panic attacks thinking about loosing my partner, Chad, my daughter, Zoey, my brother, Devontaye, or anyone that I love just because their skin is darker)
  16. WETAS! THEY ALL DESERVE TO DIE! (For those who don't know, they are a native species to New Zealand and are literally spawns of the devil. They are super hard to kill–I used a whole fly spray can and tried squashing one to no avail–and they make me sick!) I dare you to search the name on Google Images.
One fear I used to have but don't anymore?: I can take a photo with no makeup on and feel confident about it! Even if there is a book in front of my face in this one. Baby steps, guys. Baby steps.


I have given this novel 5 out of 5 stars because I have never read a book in my life that I have related to so much (Twilight doesn't count right now, okay?) and felt like it deserves a place on the modern classics table for future generations to study in school and refer to for inspirational quotes when life feels overwhelming and sometimes like nothing at all. Krystal Sutherland has definitely done everyone a huge service by writing such a beautiful story which will always stay close to our hearts. I will go to the ends of the earth to make sure this book does not become underrated in the bookish community. We need more relatable stories like this (as I've probably stated many times before) because so many people like myself need them when we're at our worst to sit down with and feel like we have a chance to be revived. I sat down a couple of weeks ago when I was drowning in stress and tears, and having Esther and Jonah to comfort my fears by facing their own gave me so much strength that I managed to avoid a panic attack. I ended up having one a few days later anyway but somehow I felt a little more hopeful afterwards when I reminded myself that so many people suffered the same way as me even for the simplest things like being in the presence of frogs, corn fields, or lobsters.

Krystal got all the nostalgic feels perfectly - I love little details like this one!


Thanks to A Semi-Definitive List Of Worst Nightmares, I am super keen to read Krystal's first novel, Our Chemical Hearts and fall in love with her writing all over again. I've always been interested in dipping into the genre of contemporary with my writing, so maybe Krystal's books will be the reason I run head first into action - no fear, no pain, just love, passion, and novels of inspiration.




Check out my Spotify playlist for

✮A Semi-Definitive List Of Worst Nightmares!✮



Thank you Penguin Random House NZ for the review copy!


Like and follow their links here:

Official Website: http://penguin.co.nz/



Please contact any one of these helplines if you need help:

• LIFELINE: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• SUICIDE CRISIS HELPLINE: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
• NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7)
• KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757



Are you suffering with a mental illness such as depression or anxiety? Here are some helpful links from BetterHelp that you can check out and find tips on how to live a happier life:

BetterHelp Advice - Anxiety
BetterHelp Advice - Depression
How To Deal with Depression: Tips, Techniques And Finding the Right Treatment

How Do I Find A Therapist Near Me?



Go add A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares to your Goodreads list HERE


Go buy it on MightyApe with 1 day delivery in New Zealand HERE

Buy it on Book Depository with free shipping world wide HERE

Find it on the Penguin Random House NZ website HERE




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